Notion
by ForeverinMoonlight
Summary: Was there something he was missing?


_Disclaimer: ..Hard to keep saying these at all creatively, so I'll state it plainly here - I do not own Dynasty Warriors._

**A/N: **This popped into my head the same day I wrote my previous fic. Though you don't need to have played DW7 to read this, the characterisation of Liu Shan (hopefully) will be more familiar here if you have. ...Hope you enjoy, anyway!

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><p><strong>Notion<strong>

There are many things I do not know.

I am happy to say so – my knowledge is very limited.. there is much I do not have an understanding of. There is nothing that I particularly excel at.. I take an age to grasp anything complicated, and as a child I was forever asking questions, over and over again.

What is it?

Why is it?

What does that do?

Why?

How is that so?

What about this?

But why?

Can you please explain it again?

I suspect I exasperated a lot of people, but I'm not sure why it should. You ask if you're not sure, do you not, or how else will you find out the answer?

..Then again, maybe there _was_ some sort of problem. My father often seemed to be exasperated by me.. I think it was because I was so slow, however much I could not help it. Or because I did not know about a lot of things – or about things I should have known about (but they're so _dull_). It could well be one of those, or indeed at my lack of fighting ability..

...Ah, I suppose there are many reasons for him to have been disappointed in me. I do believe that was what it really was; disappointment. It makes me a little sad to think about it, actually.. He seemed to have so much to worry about, from what I've heard, so he shouldn't have had to feel that way about me.

_Should I have been.. different, at all?_ But then, you can only be who you are, can't you?

Or am I missing something?

..It was not just him, either. I know that those who surround me, or have been there in the past, have felt similarly. 'Not good enough'. 'A bit.. lacking.' 'It's a shame he's not _, isn't it..?' I have heard such words a lot – my hearing is actually not bad at all, you see.

Yes.. I have never been as good as my father. I never will be; I have accepted that.

I cannot fight well. _But I've never needed to._

I am not a wonderful leader. _How could I surpass father?_

I do not know a lot of things.. _There are plenty around me that know more than I could find out in __an entire lifetime_.

No.. I am not my father. That used to upset me for a time – why couldn't I be as amazing as him? Or as Zhuge Liang? Or Zhao Yun? So many amazing people...

_But why?_

There is one thing I _can _understand, now. I can only be myself.

For better or for worse.

..Even if it is for worse.. Even if I am slow, know little, do not like to fight-

Yes.. I just _do not like_ to fight. Indeed.. I do not care about fighting.

They say I am weak.

_Am I? Does that make me a weak person?_

I do not know much. I do not know what they value. But.. I find it hard, _near impossible_, to understand concepts I have no interest in.. That which they try to teach me about.

I am called a fool by many people.

_Perhaps I.. am a fool?_

I am not sure. Maybe to everyone else I am. _I _do not think so – I simply seem to care about different things.

Such as simplicity. ..Mainly simplicity, in fact. What is better? Why cannot more people enjoy a simple way of life? ..I cannot stand unnecessary complication – I cannot stomach people getting hurt..

Maybe I care too much, but.. Is a leader not supposed to care about his people?

And, yes.. _Is a man _supposed_ to be completely selfless_? If I am wrong, I am sorry.. I'm just not sure such a person could exist.

_Or if they can, I could never become one. _But, hmm.. Is that even the point...?

Regardless... I do not know much. Yes, there are things I do not understand. ..Probably _too many_ things, but that is the way it is.

I am happy to admit it.

Like now – I do apologise, but _I do not understand you_.

I always wonder. The questions dance across my mind, but never quite escape my lips.

_Why?_

(It seems like it's always that..)

_Why? Why are you fighting?_

I do realise, there was a war..

However..

_Why do you keep fighting?_

Yes, of course, it is for something my father and everyone else strove towards...

Zhuge Liang, Zhao Yun, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei...

But, er..

_Why?_ They're dead now, are they not? Are you sure this is what they would have wanted?

..I suppose you would be – in one way, you probably knew them more than I did..

_Nevertheless.._

Like I said, I do not understand.

_Could you explain it to me? Is it possible?_

Aren't they.. dead? _How do you know_ that they would want- No.. I'm sorry, but _does it even matter_? They're.. well.. I have said this a couple of times now, but they're _dead_.

They're.. Not here any more.

Those of us that are left however... Surely...

_Do they want the same thing? _It doesn't matter what I myself want, but looking at the people now, I really do find myself wondering..

_Why? !_

Why are you fighting, when.. it doesn't seem to be doing us any good?

_People are getting hurt._

Why are you fighting?

_Unnecessarily._

Please.. I wish I could say something that would reach you, but _please_.

Can't you just.. stop?

You're so _set _about this, but.. _What if_..-

_Can you not stop?_

Pardon me – I know I have little knowledge, nor interest, in such affairs – however.. In my opinion (however much that might mean)..

I wonder if there is any worth in continuing these campaigns. I could well be missing something here, but.. They seem to be doing more harm than good.

_It would be better for everyone if all this fighting stopped_.

Well?

Jiang Wei?

It would be rather nice if you could provide us with an explanation.. Since I don't have much of an idea myself. (Since it couldn't be just _that_, surely..-)

Though really..

I dare say, that very possibly...

_You don't know yourself, either._


End file.
